Them There Eyes

KC is a great town for live jazz music.

I mean, I’m sure other towns are great too. I know for a fact that Chicago has some slammin’ joints. But I’m not trying to get into some kind of parochial pissing match about whose city has the best live jazz music scene. I’m just sayin’ KC is a great town for live jazz music.

Last Friday night my Supermodel Wife and I celebrated our wedding anniversary with dinner and a show at Jardine’s.

We had terrific table in the intimate club and enjoyed drinks and dinner while Angela Hagenbach channeled Sara Vaughn on stage. She knocked us out with her rendition of "Them There Eyes," and it didn’t hurt that she’s just a beautiful woman as well (though not as beautiful as my Super Model Wife).

The show really helped make the evening memorable. It also got me thinking that we need to start going out more often. We’ll definitely go back to Jardine’s (Hagenbach has shows there on 10/21 and 10/28 as well). We’ll also check out The Phoenix and The Blue Room.

Anyone wanna go along?

Blogspam

Those who know me know that I'm a pretty even-tempered guy. I don't get upset to the extreme. I tend not to take things personally, and I usually assume the best in people.

So it's rare to see raging anger from me about anything.

But...

Blogspam really pisses me off. I mean what the hell are these spammers thinking? Do they actually think the thinly veiled ads in the comments of blogs are fooling anyone?

Here’s a typical example:

"Hey, I saw your blog and I really like it. I'm thinking of starting a blog too. I think my blog will be about natural male enhancement. Sounds strange I know, but you would be surprised how much info there is about natural male enhancement. Anyway great job on your blog and please visit mine here."

What? You really like my blog? Okay then, I'll click on your link. NOT!

It's not that I have anything against advertising. I think it serves a valuable purpose in our economy. Hell, there would be no internet as we know it without advertising and marketing. But the blogspam format is just intellectually insulting.

I've made a practice of immediately deleting these offending posts, but I've decided to leave any blogspam comments to this post live for the purposes of illustration. Of course, I'll expect a cut of any revenue generated by these ads.

PS-I know you can turn on the verification to protect against spam, but it just seems like I shouldn't have to. I know, that's immature of me.

iMplants?

You probably heard about Apples big announcement this week of the video iPod.

As expected, the new device is sleek, sexy and bound to be a best seller. But it leaves you asking the question, what next from Apple?

Well, BT Laboratories has the answer: Musical Boobs.

That's right. It turns out the silicon in breast implants might just be the perfect medium for flexible electronic chips capable of storing your iTunes library. One boob would hold the mp3 files while the would have the playback software.

BT Laboratories' analyst Ian Pearson said flexible plastic electronics would sit inside the breast. A signal would be relayed to headphones, while the device would be controlled by Bluetooth using a panel on the wrist.

Technology blog Techdirt has coined the term “Breast iMplants”, although according to Pearson, the technology is still 15 years away.

But I already have some ideas for the "user interface" that I’d like to try out. Any volunteers?

PS-Thanks to Meleah for the tip.

Do you see any flippin' Sasquatches around here!?!

You thought the whole Napoleon Dynamite thing was over? Think again.

The Utah State Fair hired Napoleon and his student body president sidekick Pedro to be the pitch duo for this year's festivities.

In a series of TV and radio ads, Napoleon and his perm give insightful tidbits about the history of Utah blood feuds, the development of Sasquatch-killing horses and Utah carnival ride technology.

Granted, the fair has been over for a couple of weeks, but I'm hoping these two guys will show up in future ads -- maybe there's a new telecom or internet company looking for a new spokesduo.

The ads (click the "Napoleon's Sweet Ads" link) are in Real Media format, so I had to download the free Real Media player to see them. But it was worth it.

I mean, they were sweet!

PS - Check out this quote page.

Hint: Not New Orleans

Nothing much to say right now but a picture is worth a thousand words, so here's one from our trip to Italy a couple of years ago. 10 points if you can name the city.

Subway terrorist threat

Not to make lite of current public events, but this is a great take on the terror threats to the New York subway.

I mean, you can't make this stuff up (well, okay, the people at Six Meat Buffet can make it up, and it's pretty damn funny).

"Her eyes sparkled to me. One day they were blue; the next day they were green."

Unless you're completely made of stone, I don’t see how you can listen to these stories and not get a tear in you eye or at least find yourself getting a little choked up.

This is part of the StoryCorp Project. It’s a project that has been featured regularly on NPR (I think NPR is a partner or sponsor or something). But it’s a terrific idea and I’m really into it. It’s amazing that with all of the creative talent in Hollywood, they still can’t produce anything as compelling as a couple of people right off the street.

One of my favorite stories is by Richard Pecorella. Damn good stuff.

Let that be a lesson to you...

Talk about your gluttons for punishment:

Python Bursts After Trying to Eat Gator

A 13-foot Burmese python recently burst after it apparently tried to swallow a live, six-foot alligator whole, authorities said.

This has Sci-Fi channel movie of the week written all over it.

The incident has heightened biologists' fears that the nonnative snakes could threaten a host of other animal species in the Everglades.

Other animal species? You mean like... PEOPLE?!?!?

It's pretty clear that the only thing that can save us now is... Giant Robot Lizards.

Unwatchable

Here’s the theory I came up with while taking a shower this morning.

TV sucks.

Okay, I know I’m not the first person to think of this theory. And granted there are a few exceptions. But here’s the supporting logic. There just isn’t very much original thought in the mass entertainment world these days.

Sure, you’ve got some nice stuff coming out of HBO. Some of it is even watchable (I really like ROME).

But on basically network TV, there are really only about five shows on. Everything else is derivative of these five shows

1) Generic Family Sitcom: This show consists of a father who is often at odds with his parents, in-laws, wife or kids. Hijinks ensue. Other variations of this show involve groups of friends, roommates and gay people. But the comic situations are typically the same.

2) Generic Law/Cop Melodrama: My friend Chris likes to watch CSI. I was at his house when the show was starting the other night, and I accurately predicted what would happen: “There’s going to be a crime of some sort, some people will show up at the scene and investigate what happened.”

3) Generic Medical Melodrama: Same as Generic Law/Cop Melodrama, but in a hospital/medical setting. Why does Hollywood find lawyers, cops and doctors so interesting?

4) Generic Reality TV show: Interestingly, these shows have nothing to do with reality. They’re popular on the networks because the producers don’t have to pay actors or writers.

5) Generic Dramatic TV News Magazine: The network talking heads seem to have to make mountains out of molehills on a weekly basis.

The sad thing is that I know there are still creative people in the entertainment industry. But if an original concept does happen to make it to the pilot stage, even if, despite all odds, get on the air, it will quickly be cancelled because it doesn’t cater to the lowest common denominator of the American viewing public.

Oh well. At least we still have sports.

Congratulations Steve

Congratulations to my college roommate and longtime friend Steve and his super-model wife, Melissa, on the birth of their first son, Avery. This one is dedicated to you:

If
Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!