Friday blogthing: Are we not men?

Your 80s Theme Song Is:

Whip It by Devo

What's Your 80s Theme Song?

tagged: 80s, music, Devo

Pump you up

Clusterflock linked us to a NYT Magazine article interview with Dick Pound, head of the World Anti-Doping Agency (note: I'll stay clear of the obvious joke about how Dick Pound sounds like a porn actor's name. I mean, that's just too easy even for me).

Here's that passage got my attention:

Performance enhancement is like any other kind of underground activity: the participants are the only ones who know for sure what they’re up to. Anabolic steroids were for weight lifters, home-run hitters and sprinters and would never help an athlete in an endurance event like the Tour de France, right? Yet that’s what Landis tested positive for. How that might have helped him climb mountains is unknown — except, if he took them, by Landis and any enablers. Everybody thought pitchers never used steroids because they value flexibility more than strength. Then baseball started checking for steroids, and about half the positive tests came from pitchers. In university laboratories across the world, and in places like the United States Department of Defense, scientists are dreaming up yet new ways to enhance human beings — steps that may very well be taken by elite athletes before they are perfected or even considered safe.

Hey, you ain't seen nuthin' yet. What do you think the whole stem cell thing is about. It sure as hell isn't about curing Parkinson's Disease, I can tell you. That's just the public propaganda that "they" want us to buy.

And who is "they" you ask?

Well, I have documented proof that a cabal of conspirators including the Defense Department, George Steinbrenner, GlaxoSmithKline, and the University of Oklahoma is conducting a secret research project to create super enhanced collegiate curlers using stem cells.

Of course this is just the first step. The technology will eventually be used to create a race of super soldiers, kind of like Kurt Russel in that movie Soldier.

Which is really okay. I mean, we're going to need somebody to fight the machines when the great robot revolution begins.

tagged: steroids, doping, Floyd Landis, culture, sports, stem cells

Rome (if you want to)

I got an email from my good friend HBO the other day letting me know that Sunday the second and final season of Rome will commence.

The new season picks up on the same day that last season ended, the Ides of March. Ceasar has been stabbed to death by the Senate (I can hear you Democrats squealing with glee), and Niobe, the exotic and beautiful wife of centurion Lucius Vorenus has just committed suicide after her husband learned the truth about her son.

Despite the raft of great shows on network TV this season (Scrubs, The Office, Heroes, Battlestar Galactica) HBO has almost single-networkly been responsible for the best programming on the idiot box.

Shows like The Sopranos, Deadwood and Rome (all of which are ending this year) show a true artistic vision, with snappy writing, realistic scenarios and amazingly beautiful cinematography (especially in HD). They pull no punches and challenge the viewer to pay attention to the complex plot lines. For some views, the complex story lines and inconsistent time lines were a turnoff for Rome in particular. But the payoff is worth it.

Unfortunately, historical dramas like Deadwood and Rome can be pretty expensive, what with building the period sets, procuring costumes, going on location and whatnot.

So it's been a great ride with some amazing programming. It will be sad when it's over, but I look forward to the next big thing they come out with.



tagged: Rome, HBO, TV, pop culture, Deadwood, Battlestar Galactica, Scrubs, The Office

YouTube Tuesday: Blueman

Yesterday, Tony took exception with a recent column by The Star's Steve Kraske about the sorry state of so-called news reporting in this city.

Evidently Tony gets off on tales of car accidents, house fires, east-side shootings and Larry Moore. He's sick like that.

Personally, I had my fill of it two years ago and stopped watching the so-called local so-called news. With a DVR, there's no need to watch trash that doesn't feature Alissa Milano.

Anyway, this little YouTube video expresses my thoughts on the subject better than what you've read to this point...



tagged: movie, YouTube, video, Network, blueman, pop culture, news media

Okie City Penguins?

I've been following the story line of the Pittsburgh Penguins' search for a new arena over the last few weeks.

Sure, they'll probably never materialize in KC, but it's still much more interesting than following the inept Chiefs.

Anyway, for you other five people in Kansas who are interested in NHL hockey, I thought I'd pass along this story Pittsburgh Tribune-Review breaking the news that Oklahoma City is considering offering a competing bid for the Penguins.

Oklahoma City is considering extending an invitation to the Penguins to visit the Ford Center this week.

Bob Funk, founder and CEO of Express Services Inc. and owner of the minor-league Oklahoma City Blazers hockey club, told The Oklahoman on Saturday, "We have always had an interest in the NHL ... I think the NHL has a good future."

Funk and Brad Lund, CEO of Funk's Express Sports, met with Oklahoma City leaders Thursday and tabled for the weekend a plan to invite the Penguins, the newspaper reported.

"It's Pittsburgh's team to lose, and Kansas City is well ahead of us," Lund said.

Not sure what kind of offer the Okies could make to the Penguins organization. If the funding of professional athletes at the University of Oklahoma is any indication, laws and common decency get about as much regard in OKC as they do in KCMO.

tagged: Kansas City, Oklahoma City, hockey, Pittsburgh Penguins, Lemieux, sports

The cure is worse than the illness

It's a shame and a travesty.

A Kansas City, Kan., nurse's aide pleaded guilty to the other day to first-degree murder in the 2005 stabbing death of a 77-year-old man who had once been in her care.

Turns out she had been embezzling money from him for years. When he finally caught on, she stabbed him 40 times to keep him from spilling the beans.

What a waste. I think we can all agree that this kind of elder abuse, while all too common, is completely uncalled for and causes untold loss to our society as a whole.

The elderly, such as my friend Xavier Onassis, shouldn't be harmed or abused, they need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

tagged: Kansas City, nurse , stabbing , elderly

Friday blogthing

Star Wars Horoscope for Libra

You are on a lifelong pursuit of justice and determined to succeed. You convey the art of persuasion through force. You always display your supreme intelligence. You have a great talent in obtaining balance between yourself and your surroundings. Star wars character you are most like: Obi Wan Kenobie

What Is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

tagged: horoscope, Star Wars, Obi Wan Kenobie

Sunday cheers

The Wichita Eagle's editorial staff is using a temporary mass exodus from the city as an argument for pushing an end to the city's ban on Sunday liquor sales.

Though journalists are all raging alcoholics (who wouldn't need to knock back a few shots after publishing the latest gossip about Britney's coochie), they actually have a point here.

The editorial noted that last Sunday, New Year's Eve, everyone left town for the smaller surrounding burgs that no longer ban Sunday liquor sales. Despite the massive economic drain caused by everyone getting their grog in Garden Plain, the ban in Wichita proper stays in effect.

Of course we in Johnson County must smile condescendingly at our less sophisticated Wichita brethren. After all, we put away the childish ban yeas ago (well okay, last year).

But the proposal is getting some criticism on the Eagle's blog. Many folks are complaining that we drunkards should be able to plan ahead and stock up on Saturday for our Sunday drinking binges.

Why not keep Sunday a sacred day, they say. Keep it a day of reflection, a day for family, church and cursing at the NFL refs on TV even though they can't hear you.

My own humble contribution to the discussion was to point out that liquor isn't really counter-Christian. I mean, didn't Jesus turn water into wine? So how is it any kind of disrespect to Christianity to allow Sunday liquor sales (unless you're selling it at church, you know, money changers in the temple and all).

Of course, the abuse of alcohol is a different topic, but then that goes for the abuse of anything (food, drugs, women, alliteration).

Anyway, since I haven't spent an appreciable amount of time in Wichita since my high-school days (ironically, we used to go there to drink), I don't really care what they do. But I would be interested in hearing the views of some Wichitans

tagged: Kansas, wine, Jesus, alcohol, Sunday

Lemieux and leverage

I just saw this report that the Mario Lemieux, owner of the NHL's Pittsburgh Penguins, is meeting today with "officials" in Kansas City to discuss the possibility of moving the franchise into the Sprint Center when in opens next fall.

This meeting follows the defeat of a proposal in Pittsburgh whereby the Penguins would have received a sparkling new arena courtesy of the Isle Of Capri in exchange for the casino company receiving slot machine licenses.

Part of me wants to be encouraged by today's development. Surely the meeting between Lemieux and the Sprint Arena people can't be a bad thing. It keeps the possibility of KC getting a major NHL franchise back in town real.

But the cynical part of me sees today's meeting as a leverage maker for Lemieux. Since it comes before a "scheduled get together with state and local government officials in Pittsburgh, who are keen to discuss "Plan B" to try and keep the Penguins from leaving."

What better way for Lemieux to put pressure on the powers that be in Pittsburgh than to appear to be close to finalizing his deal in KC.

Still, we can hope and dream that this deal doesn't go down the icehole.

tagged: hockey, Kansas City, Pittsburgh Penguins, Sprint Center, Mario Lemieux, sports, NHL

Memo RE: The coffee machine

TO: Coworkers on my floor
FROM: emawkc
RE: The Coffee Machine

Dear coworkers,
This memo is to remind you of how easy it is to start a new pot of coffee in the break room.

I understand that some of you have an inferior education, that remedial skills in following simple instruction weren't required to get a diploma from the University of Kansas.

But common decency and regard for the caffeine addictions of your coworkers demands that you learn the basic steps for starting a new pot of coffee after you take the last cup.

So let me explain:

• Step one - open a new pre-measured packet of coffee and pour it into the filter
• Step two - put the filter (with coffee therein) into the coffee machine between the place where the water comes out and the thing that the coffee goes into
• Step three - press the "start" button
• Step four - Put your tongue back in your mouth you drooling idiot!

Sorry if this memo is a little harsh, I'll be in better humor after I've had my coffee.

tagged: office, rant, coffee, humor