And now for something completely different...

The Onion News Network takes a look at the cultural impact of the Segway on this, the six-year anniversary of it's arrival:


In The Know: Life Before The Segway

tagged: humor, Segway, The Onion, parody, satire, video, culture

How cool is this

I've previously posted how much I love writing/sketching in my Moleskine. It's old-school bohemian groovyness is just good for the soul.

Now thanks to this guy I can transfer that goodness to my computers with a hard disk enclosure.

Check out the slide show here.

via engadget

tagged: Moleskine, digital, technology, engadget, gadget

FWD: You do the math

A buddy of mine sent me this in a forwarded email.

I'm not sure who the original author is, but it's hard to argue with this analysis. If you know who wrote this originally, let me know.

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out is window
and gave the woman the finger.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and
wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic,
and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has
a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? I don't think so

tagged: humor, women, drivers, cosmopolitan, National Rifle Association, the finger, road rage

I ask myself the same question

It's ANZAC Day in Australia and New Zealand (or at least it was when it was today there).

This day obviously has more meaning for the Aussies and Kiwis than to a Yank like myself, but it always makes me think of the famous and excellent song And The Band Played Waltzing Matilda by Eric Bogle.

In my opinion this is one of the best war songs written. Definitely not a jingoistic, rah-rah patriot song, but not quite a preachy protest song either.

Just a song that makes us to ask serious and important questions of ourselves.

This version is performed by the Clancy Brothers.



My brother in-law Nick will be home this weekend from Iraq for some much deserved shore leave. It will be great to see him again.

tagged: Australia, New Zealand, And The Band Played Waltzing Matilda, Anzac Day, war, Eric Bogle, Clancy Brothers

Get rich or die tryin'

So I caught this article about a UK guy who bet some bookies 10 years ago that he could live to be 100 years old. He won $50 grand yesterday when he celebrated his 100th birthday.

I can see some pros and cons to this.

The pros of course are that the dude is still alive and $50k richer. The con is, how much fun can a 100-year-old have with $50,000. I mean c'mon, he's 100 freakin' years old.

So for this to work for me, I would have to bet on someone else living to be 100. After all, I want my $50 large now, not 70 years from now. And the only guy I know who's even close to 100 years old is Xavier Onassis. He might have a shot at making it, too. Hell, he already quit smoking.

The other option is my favorite geezer Larry Moore. I'm not sure how old he is, but by the looks of him he can't be too far from the century mark. And I hear that there are a lot of preservatives in all of that makeup and hair "product". Plus, everyone knows that the annoying people are always the ones who tend to stick around the longest.

Anyway, I'm calling the bookies tonight to find out what kind of odds I can get. Want in on the action?

tagged: age wager, Alec Holden, Larry Moore, 100, get rich, UK, bet, bookie

YouTube Tuesday: I was so much older then

Lately, seeing the kids dressed up on the Plaza in their fine formal clothes, impressing each other for their respective proms, has reminded me of my high-school and college years.

Staying out late, crashing my dad's car, getting away with things (and getting caught, oops), hangin' out with friends -- the future was too far away to worry about at the time.

Unfortunately, a lot of people (myself included) don't appreciate those times when they are happening. It takes 20 years, several jobs, the stress of a mortgage, family responsibility and a "spare tire" to show how good we had it back then.

That's how it is for a lot of people. But not for budding video editor Tom Keliinoi, whose YouTube submission shows that he and his friends are seizing the day.

The people in this video are complete strangers to me, yet I see myself and my friends 20 years ago in every face. Where has the time gone?

Nice job Tom.

tagged: movie, YouTube, video, high school, nostalgia, carpe diem

Movie Mini Review: Run Lola Run

Title: Run Lola Run (Lola rennt)

Cast: Franka Potente, Moritz Bleibtreu, Herbert Knaup, Nina Petri

Plot summary:
Lola has 20 minutes to come up with 100,000 Deutschmarks and get it to her boyfriend, Manni, who lost a bag full of cash during a botched diamond smuggling operation. If she's not there on time, Manni will be sleeping with the fishes courtesy of the German Tony Soprano.

My thoughts:
This is another film that has been on the DVR for a few months now, so when my Supermodel Wife and I had some unexpected free time last week, we cued it up.

I had a vague idea of what the movie was about. I remember it receiving some good press when it was released in 1998, even winning an award at the Sundance Film Festival. But despite the title, I wasn't quite prepared for the pace set by director Tom Tykwer. There is literally only a few minutes before the action starts for the characters.

I thought the acting was strong for the main characters. Even though my knowledge of the German language is limited to schadenfreude and fahrvergnügen, the sexy Franka Potente did an excellent job of conveying her character's fear, anger and frustration -- sometime all at once.

The acting, combined with the video editing and a driving techno soundtrack did a great job of conveying the feeling of urgency and intensity that I think Tykwer was going for.

And the plot line was a nice change of pace. Like a couple of my other favorite movies, Pulp Fiction and Memento, Lola employs a non-linear storytelling device. The first twenty minutes advance through a story and then repeat back to the beginning. The story then unfolds again, but this time with slight changes in seemingly insignificant details that lead to major changes in the outcome.

The advantage of this is that it gives the two principal actors that much sought-after death scene (sorry for the spoiler if you haven't seen this one yet, but c'mon, it's been out for nine years), while at the same time keeping them around for the ending.

The one thing that still bothers me is that Tykwer gave no reason within the world of the story for the characters to repeat the last 20 minutes. Perhaps it makes sense in the original German, but it didn't translate for me and I felt a little shortchanged because of it.

But I was happy with the examination of this sort of quantum principal that other worlds exist depending on what choice we make, what we observe and do at any given moment. It would be nice to have the kind of "do overs" in real life that Lola and Manni had in this film.

My final rating: Definitely see it again.

Favorite quote:
"The ball is round, a game lasts 90 minutes, everything else is pure theory. Off we go!"

tagged: movie, Run Lola Run, film, culture, Franka Potente, Lola rennt, Moritz Bleibtreu, Tom Tykwer

Fellowship of the Ring in 15 seconds

This totally cracks me up (click to embiggen).



tagged: Lord of the Rings, animated gif, humor, pop culture

Virtually complete

Pictures of the Sprint Center under construction in downtown KCMO have been making the rounds on the interwebs lately.

The most recent pics showed up first on KCRag forum, and then Tony linked in with some comments.

Problem is, the thing isn't done yet. That may be good enough for some people, but not for me. I insist upon instant gratification.

Even if it's just virtual.

So, I logged back in to Second Life for the first time in months (which is years in online time).

There, you can get a virtual feel for what the arena is going to be like. Here are some pics for the SL-challenged:

Here's a wide shot of the exterior of the arena.

This is the "interior" of the Sprint Center, the main arena.
This is the main lobby. You can get a free virtual T-shirt at the kiosk on the right to give Sprint some free virtual advertising.
This is the virtual sales chick. Kind of a two dimensional personality.This is a secondary lobby between the main lobby and the arena. I guess you can watch free Spanish rock videos on that TV in the corner.

tagged: Sprint, Sprint Center, arena, Kansas City, downtown, Second Life, virtual, advertising, marketing

You can't prevent crazy

On the way into the office today I heard a caller to a radio show say, in reference to the Virginia Tech incident, "You can't prevent crazy."

How true.

When things like this happen, be it in New York, Colorado, Oklahoma or Virginia, it seems that the typical knee-jerk reaction is "How could this have happened? Why didn't somebody stop it? There ought to be a law. We need new procedures to prevent this from happening again."

And after all of the discussions, hearings, interviews, analysis and reviews of procedures, such things end up (inevitably?) happening again.

Predictably, the discussion over the last day or so in the wall-to-wall media coverage has circled around questions like why the campus wasn't locked down earlier. Why did nobody see Cho's previous calls for help? How did he get the guns and ammo?

We need tighter gun control. We need more concealed carry. We need stricter campus security. Who is to blame?

All of this brushes aside the fact that the guy was crazy. We know he was crazy (aside from the obvious insanity of the act) because we are all crazy. Nobody is 100% sane (if there is such a thing).

Thankfully the vast majority of our individual neuroses don't manifest themselves in a shooting rampage. But we all have hang-ups about something. We learn to live with them, and we trust that everyone else will learn to live with their issues as well.

That some people don't, that they go off the rails as Ozzy says, is a calculated risk.

In our society, we've determined that we're willing to risk the occasional mass-murder so that we won't have to live under an oppressive totalitarian regime. We don't want our schools to resemble prisons. We don't want our interstate highways to look like Checkpoint Charlie. We don't want Big Brother looking over our shoulders every minute of every day. We don't want to give up our individual liberties.

Tragic as they are, incidents like the one that happened at Virginia Tech are the price we pay for living in an open society.

So what do we do?

We go home, embrace our loved ones, and thank whatever gods may be that we are alive and able to enjoy another day.

tagged: Virginia Tech, Cho Seung-hui, gun, Big Brother, tragedy, concealed carry, gun control