Friday, January 25, 2008

Friday Blogthing: KA-CHING!!!!!!

You may have heard that our infinitely magnanimous government has graciously decided to give us back some of the money it took from us to fund wars, bridges to nowhere and corporate executive retirement packages in the hope that we will spend our way out of a recession.

It's just the latest example of how great and just truly terrific the people we elect are.

Yesterday, the KCStar posted a little widget to help you calculate how much of your own money the gubmint is going to give to you. Kind of like when your parents used to give you an allowance when you were a kid.




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Thursday, January 24, 2008

Good idea, bad idea

Good Idea: Cutting up your old, expired credit cards into tiny pieces before throwing them away so as to avoid being the victim of identity fraud.

Bad Idea: Accidentally getting your thumb in the way of scissors as you slice said cards -- the very thumb you had nearly destroyed in the Christmas Eve Massacre of 2007.

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

It's the little things

There are so many non-stories out there this week that it's making me feel anti-inspired. I mean, I care so little about these things that it makes me not want to post anything.

For instance, everybody's posing about the Francis Semler resignation. Getting Semler off (ewe!) of the all-powerful KCMO parks board is a huge victory for the racist west side Latino lobby. I'm glad they didn't waste all of their effort on unimportant issues like healthcare or education. But everyone has already said so much about it that I can barely summon the little interest I had a few months ago.

Then there's the untimely death of megastar actor Heath Ledger. My RSS reader lit up last night with bloggers bemoaning the loss of such a fine talent to what looks like a drug overdose. A tragic loss, we now will have to get by without seeing any of his future so-so movies (I was so looking forward to Brokeback Submarine).

My apathy to these stories is palpable. It's enough to suck the inspiration right out of you.

Then out of the blue, as I was getting my morning coffee in the break room today, something wonderful happened.

A coworker dropped a few coins in the Coca-Cola machine to buy her daily Diet Coke. The can dropped through the internal workings of the vending machine, and when it hit the dispensing bin it exploded like a syrupy, carbonated hand grenade.

The resulting mess of curse words and sticky cloths gave me just the schadenfreude I needed to get me out of my rut and back into the groove.

Thank science for the little things.

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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

YouTube Tuesday: TAG and Axe my back!

Part of the power of short-form online video, for better or worse, is to show how little the American online public needs the teevee networks.

Network execs can continue to put out more cheap un-reality shows, and writers can can continue to strike, and funny, talented independents will continue to put out interesting and satirical content like Chad Vader, or God Inc., or this week's edition of YouTube Tuesday.

So for those of you jonesing for more Laguna Beach, here's DouchebagBeach. Enjoy:



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Friday, January 18, 2008

Blogger shout out

I just wanted to give a quick shout out to all you bloggers who showed up at Cafe al Dente last night.

As usual, it was really fun hanging out with the cool kids for a change. I finally got to have some extended conversation with m.toast, who is every bit as interesting in person as she in in blog (FWIW, m.toast, I concur with you're thoughts about moving away from livejournal).

Also got to meet meesha, but didn't get to talk as much as I'd hoped. Maybe next time, comrade.

Then of course there was the highlight of the night for everyone, meeting the one, the only Chimpo live and in person (update your links, biotches!).

I'm always amazed when I go to these things how much talent this town has. But last night really blew me away when Chimpo got up on stage and showed off his acoustic chops with this rendition Straight Outta Compton.


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Friday Blogthing: barcode hopping

I'm officially just a number.


What's your barcode? Barcode Yourself to find out.


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Thursday, January 17, 2008

Random photo IX: I hate myself for this

Uh! I feel so dirty posting something so... cute.

I'm not going to caption this. I'll just say it's a shot I took of a pair or evil kittens that my daughter loved to play with at her great-grandparents' house in north-central Kansas.

You can add your own LOLcat caption in the comments.

The best caption wins a MAJOR AWARD at tonight's blogger meetup.

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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

SAM I am (or, "Is that a shoulder-mounted rocket in your pocket?")

I want to take a moment to recognize three American small businesses for stepping up to the plate in the daunting task of ensuring the further safety of the traveling public.

Fledgling small businesses BAE Systems, Northrop Grumman and United Airlines have accepted a challenge by Charles McQueary, the Homeland Security Department's undersecretary for science and technology, to solve the pervasive threat of Surface-to-Air Missiles (SAMs) fired at domestic passenger jets.
The companies, selected from a pool of 24 that sought the contracts, lead teams that will work on adapting defenses already used on military planes and Air Force One. All will test infrared jammers that redirect heat-seeking rockets away from aircraft engines.
The three companies face a difficult task. They have only six months and six million dollars between them to create a report for Congress on the feasibility of this kind of defense system. I'll repeat, only $6 million to do the study and create a report.

But I think we can all agree that this is something that must be done, no matter the cost, and sooner rather than later.

The threat of these weapons hangs like the Sword of Damocles on air travelers in this country, despite remarks made by Asa Hutchinson, Homeland Security's undersecretary for border and transportation security, who said there is "no credible threat information involving shoulder-fired rockets."

This head-in-the-sand attitude may seem like prudence, but Mr. Hutchinson obviously isn't aware of the easy availability of shoulder-fired rockets, especially in the Midwest where so many of us use them to hunt game birds like doves, pheasant and wild turkeys.

Thankfully, we as voters had the presence of mind to elect Democrats to congress last year.

Democrats like Barbara Boxer and Steve Israel who, despite what the know-nothings in Homeland Security say, had the testicular fortitude to sponsor a bill requiring anti-missile defense on all domestic passenger jets as soon as possible.
"The threat is simply too severe to allow bureaucrats to set their own timetables to make use of those protections," said Rep. Steve Israel, D-N.Y., who sponsored the House version of a bill by Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-Calif.

Boxer said under the Bush administration's timetable, no planes will have the systems before 2006. "That is not good enough," she said.
Sure, it will cost at least $10 billion for that equipment, but again we all know that no price is too high for safety.

My only concern in this plan is that even the infrared laser SAM missile jammers won't be enough protection.

In fact I would like to propose to the congressional Democrats that ALL U.S. passenger jets should be equipped with radar-seeking guided bombs. I know, you're thinking that might be a bit expensive, but as Boxer and Israel both know we are at war with terrorists and everyone must pitch in if we're going to win.

Commercial aircraft are no exception. If a passenger jet is targeted by terrorists with a shoulder-mounted surface-to-air missile, they must be given the weapons to fire back.

So write to Israel and Boxer and encourage them to expand their bill. It may cost another $40 billion, but freedom isn't free.

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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

YouTube Tuesday: Post Nasal

I missed this when it originally aired on local TV (probably because I try to avoid the so-called local so-called news like it's a new Maroon 5 album), but I have to say there's a subtle comic genius in watching grown adults do with a straight face what we as 9-year-olds used to with milk in the lunchroom for laughs.



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Monday, January 14, 2008

Headlines: G.M.'s alternative fuel bet

General Motors is taking steps to make sure it maintains it's position on the cutting edge of automotive technology.

According to the New York Times, GM has invested heavily in a company that is developing a process to create alternative fuels out of waste products.
General Motors, eager to ensure a supply of fuel for the big fleet of flex-fuel ethanol-capable vehicles it is building, has joined the rush into alternative energy and invested in a company that intends to produce ethanol from crop wastes, wood chips, scrap plastic, rubber and even municipal garbage.
GM is investing in a company called Coskata, which is keeping it's fuel-generation process largely underwraps. But it has released an overview of it's technology.
Coskata is one of many companies ... in an emerging world of start-up firms that are making alternative fuels with a mix-and-match approach to existing technologies. In Coskata’s case it is a combination of gasification and bacterial action.
This overview is giving local economic development officials a lot of hope.

According to my many inside sources, officials with the Greater Kansas City Chamber of Commerce have already contacted Coskata and notified them that Kansas City sits right on top of the largest source of gasified waste and municipal garbage in the Midwest.

He's on KMBZ each night at 6 and 10 p.m.

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