Lord of the dance

For the past couple of months my Supermodel Wife has been torturing me, and it finally all ended yesterday.

She was addicted to a show on one of the major television networks (they all look the same to me) called Dancing with the Stars. Basically, it's one of those shows where they take former celebrities and make them do stupid shit with so-called experts. In this case, the non-stars were paired with professional dancers in a four-month dance-off.

It mercifully ended last night. Needless to say that I wasn't into the show – probably for the same reason that I don't ovulate and complain about breast tenderness. I mean, I don't want to say the show is ghey, but when Carson Kressley first saw it, he said "Damn, that show is gay!"

But I did want to make one point of criticism.

THIS THING IS SO FUCKIN' RIGGED!

I mean come on, we all know Jerry Rice was the clear winner. But do you think the judges would actually let a black man win? Hell no! They gave the top nod on a silver platter to that pansy boy band dropout Drew Lachey.

Puleeez! If there is any justice left in the world, there will be a congressional investigation. I have a dream that some day, a man will be judged by the quality of his ball room dancing, rather than the color of his skin.

In the meantime, bring on The Sopranos (debuts March 12, 9 p.m. diggity!).
tagged: television, dancing, Drew Lachey, Jerry Rice, pop culture, ballroom, Sopranos, Carson Kressley

Mission Center maul

The City of Mission recently erected placards touting the pending destruction of the venerable Mission Center Mall.

The mall, which according to the Kansas City Star, closed its doors for good last week, will be replaced by a high-end shopping/residential center.

The Mission city council had hosted some hearings on proposals to rebuild the central business district, and the Star published a report in one of the unread back pages, but of course, I first heard details about the plans from my barber a few weeks ago.

Part of the plan is to remove the empty, rotting corpse of the Mission Center Mall and replace it with Plaza-style shops a high-rise hotel and 10-story condo building. Removing the mall shouldn't be that difficult, since it's falling apart already.

And, living only a few blocks away from the site I can't say I was too keen on the high-rise hotel and condos. Then I took a look as the presentations available on the Mission web site, and I have to say that this looks a helluva lot better than the current eyesore.

So here are a few pics from the presentation.

Here's the current view of Johnson Drive looking to the southeast (at the mall).

And, through the magic of computer imaging, a view of the proposed development.

Here's the proposed development from the Roeland Drive elevation.

And here's the "artistic" rendering

tagged: Roeland Park, Kansas, City Council, Mission, mall, development, architecture

Equal time

Okay, Cheney and the Bush administration have been taking a lot of abuse over the past few weeks, and I have to admit it's hard not to abuse them given some of the boneheaded things they've done.

Likewise with the radical and violent Muslims in reaction to this whole Muhammad cartoon thing, and rightfully so.

So now, in the interest of equal time, I want to take this opportunity to lob a few stones at the liberals' glass house.

You see, it's the House Democrats who introduced House Resolution 4694 - a decidedly undemocratic measure which seeks to limit, nay, deny third parties in American politics.

In an uncharacteristic show of balls, the Democrats led by Rep. David Obey (D-WI) named the resolution (get this) the "Let the People Decide Clean Campaign Act."

Key highlights of the resolution:

• Mandates public funds (taken from the U.S. Treasury) to candidates for the House of Representatives
• Forbids candidates from taking private funds such as contributions from individual donors
• Provides funds for candidates of the "two major parties"
• Third-party candidates must obtain enough signatures to exceed 20% of votes cast in the last election within their district to be eligible for the same funds that Republicans and Democrats would receive
• But third-party or independent candidates cannot pay petitioners to collect the signatures that would make it possible to fund their campaigns.

So, the anti-democracy Democrats are so afraid a third party (presumably the Green Party - the reason Al Gore wasn't elected 8 years ago) will take away their votes that they want to lock everyone else out of the game.

Now, I agree that there are serious issues that need to be dealt with in the American electoral process - money and influence peddling to name a few. And you're kidding yourself if you think it's just a "Republican problem." However, the solution isn't to infringe on our rights by limiting our choices (number of parties/candidates) or our voice (monetary contributions and media purchases).

If the parties are really interested in improving the process, they should consider a drastically reduced campaign time frame. Why do we need two years of campaigning to decide who we're going to vote for, when most people just vote the party line anyway?

Limit campaign spending to a two-month period just before the election, and you'll solve 80% of the problems. And neither party would have to out themselves as the bastards they are.

tagged: Democrat, liberal, Dick Cheney, election, democracy, Green Party, HR 4694, Al Gore, politics, David Obey, Libertarian

Muhammad and Me

Image courtesy of Muhammad and Me

I recently added a new link to my blogroll on the right. I try to limit the number of blogs I link to here, since I use it as a kind of daily reading list.

Anyway, I discovered Muhammad And Me while perusing the referring links in recent StatCounter records.

I was immediately hooked. The artist, Bobby Wheelock, has been publishing cartoons of Mohammed and himself doing everyday activities like riding bikes, shaving, flying kites and making cupcakes.

And while there is no explicit mention of the prophet Muhammad, my personal interpretation is that this is implied.

Reading through some of the comments, it's clear that some people get it and some don't. Some post virulently angry words. And that's okay.

There are two positive results from this artwork. First, it is portraying Muhammad, and implicitly, the Muslim community, in a non-violent everyday approachable manner that is probably closer to what the majority of Muslims are like than what we see on news casts.

Secondly, it is invoking reactions in the realm of ideas, rather than the realm of embassy burnings.

So, keep up the good work, Bobby, I look forward to seeing more.

tagged: media, cartoons, Islam, Muslim, Muhammad , Muhammad Cartoon, Muslim Cartoon

Air Nelson

From my inside source, Matt the Architect, here are the latest aerial photos of the Steven Holl-designed addition to the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art.

UPDATE: I forgot to include a link to interior pictures I posted previously.







tagged: Steven Holl, Nelson Atkins, art, architecture, Kansas City, museum

I can see clearly now

Saturday morning I did something I never thought I would do.

I opened the medicine cabinet and threw away all of my contact lens paraphernalia. Lenses, lens cases, cleaning solutions, eye drops -- all went into the trash.

The "friken laser" surgery was a success. No more glasses, no more contacts, no more squinting and fumbling for my "eyes" when I wake up in the morning. For the first time in years, I'm no longer a "four-eyes."

Everything went pretty well. There were a few things that I didn't like, but on balance I'd say it's the best $3,000 I've ever spent (well, except for that weekend in Niagara. Man, that was one crazy Yom Kippur!).

So first the negatives. I felt like a complete douche bag in the pre-op (that's medical talk for "pre-operation") room. They made me wear a dorky hat and matching dorky booties over my shoes, smeared yellowish-brown iodine over my face and told me to relax.

This minor humiliation was remedied slightly by the four other people in the room who were similarly attired. It was remedied even more by the Valium they gave me to help effect the aforementioned relaxation.

As for the surgery, there was some minor discomfort caused by the clamps that keep you're eyes open and the scalpel used to slice open your cornea. I'd say it was about the same level of discomfort as getting your teeth scraped by the dentist. It wasn't that bad, really, and I think the doc liked it when I made the laser sound effects (piong! zwiong!).

The only other negative is the taste of the antibiotic eye drops they gave me ("Because this is a surgery and there is a risk of infection with all surgeries"). It turns out that when you put eye drops into your eyes, part of the solution seeps down through your sinus cavity and into the back of your throat and onto your tongue. The eye drops, which I take every four hours, are as bitter as a Democrat after election day.

But all the discomfort is worth it. It's the strangest thing to not reach for glasses first thing in the morning. Medical science truly is a miracle.

Now about that stem cell treatment for baldness...
tagged:eye surgery, laser, lasik, Logan's Run, Goldfinger, Star Wars

Eyes only

I meant to write about this sooner, but what with Valentine's Day and VPs shooting people, I just haven't got around to it.

Tomorrow is a big day for me. My life, after nearly 25 years, will change dramatically.

I'm going in for eye surgery.

Chances are you know someone who has had laser eye surgery. Basically, they cut the lens off of your eyeball and use a laser to reshape it so that you can see again.

I can't tell you how excited I am. For the first time in ages I'll be able to see without some kind of optical prosthesis. I'll be able to see the soap and shampoo when I take a shower. When I'm at the swimming pool, I'll be able to use those goggles to look under water at the girlies' bathing suits. I won't have to worry about fumbling for my glasses if an intruder breaks into our house in the middle of the night. Oh joy!

My supermodel wife keeps telling me how nervous she is. She's afraid there will be some malfunction with the laser which will result in me having a one inch hole burned through my head. But the way I see it (currently through my coke bottle glasses), if we've learned anything from movies like Logan's Run, Goldfinger and Star Wars, medical procedures involving lasers rarely go wrong.

And if they do, you can get a neato bionic limb out of the deal.
tagged:eye surgery, laser, lasik, Logan's Run, Goldfinger, Star Wars

Death by Cheney

A friend just emailed this image to me, and in the finest of Internet traditions, I'm passing it along even though it's in extremely poor taste.


tagged:Dick Cheney, Dick Cheney, hunting, accident, shotgun, vice president, death, politics, humor

In response to Dan

I've enjoyed reading Gone Mild for some time now. Sometimes Dan almost makes sense, and I get the feeling he's just about smart enough to become a moderate.

But Dan, I'm not sure I agree with the conclusion you draw in your final paragraph of today's post regarding the whole Cheney shooting boondoggle.

I understand the release of information was delayed, but isn’t that pretty standard procedure in a situation where there might be a fatality?

I'm pretty sure that when, say, someone is shot in, say, east Kansas City, the police wait to notify next of kin, etc. If you accidentally shot someone in the face while out in the middle of nowhere, and maybe you thought you killed a good friend, wouldn't your main concern be to get them to a hospital and notify their family? If that person were of some notoriety, wouldn't you want to try to limit the "media circus" at the hospital for the family's sake?

I'm not trying to apologize for the VP, but I don’t really think the delay of a day or so in this situation was malicious or malevolent. I mean, it sounds like you’re trying to make Cheney out to be another Ted Kennedy, which is a low blow.
tagged: tax, Dick Cheney, Dick Cheney, hunting, accident, shotgun, vice president, Ted Kennedy, Kennedy, Chappaquiddick, politics, liberal

What a Dick

There's been a lot of hoo-ha made about the "Dick Cheney Hunting Accident" – especially in the blogosphere.

I think I've shown a great deal of restraint in not taking the easy way out and writing a post about such an obvious and meaningless topic. Some people, including this guy, are using the situation to try to score political points, noting that Cheney is one of only two VPOUS's to shoot a guy while in office (here's a quick quiz question, how many VPs have shot a guy while not in office? The answer might surprise you).

They try to draw a line from this incident to a "shoot-first-ask-questions-later" philosophy that they think the administration has. But I think, from a liberal's perspective, the paranoia should be focused in another direction.

If I were a paranoid, foil hat-wearing, knee-jerk type of Liberal trying to drum up anti-administration sentiment (I know, that’s a really tough assignment these days), I'd be playing the distraction card. As in, "Cheney intentionally shot the guy in order to create a media distraction."

I mean, you have to admit that in the few days since The Shooting, there has been relatively little media attention paid to things like Domestic Spying, Oil Prices, elections, taxes (except by me), hurricanes, Karl Rove, fundraising and the Winter Olympics.

Well, okay, nobody pays attention to that last one anyway.
tagged: tax, Dick Cheney, Dick Cheney, hunting, accident, shotgun, vice president, Olympics, politics, liberal