Wrath of grapes

A growing and insidious group of extremists continues to launch attacks in small towns and business throughout Europe.

These attacks aren't coming from Islamic extremists or anti-semitic neo-Nazis. No, the group behind the latest violence calls itself C.R.A.V. and it attacks the very life-blood of rural French, Spanish and Italian agriculture.

According to BeverageDaily.com:

Masked men, claiming to be from the shadowy Regional Action Committee of Winemakers (CRAV), took just 20 minutes last Friday to break open several of Val d'Orbieu's wine vats, sending millions of bottles-worth of French wine gushing into the street.

Devic told BeverageDaily.com the damage could cost between €1.5m and €2m. "It is all French wine, I hope there will not be any more [attacks]," he said.

Evidently, members of the terrorist organization C.R.A.V. are striking out against large, corporate wine producers because the producers aren't paying enough for the grapes they by from regional farmers.

BeverageDaily.com (a website dedicated to drinking? sweeet) reported that CRAV attacks have increased in ferocity and intensity since Christmas, and millions of litres of Spanish, Italian and French wine have been spilled in streets across the region.

And I guess I can understand their point of view. I mean, why fight about insignificant things like religion and democracy when French wine is at stake.

In vino veritas

tagged: France, Spain, Italy, wine, Europe, CRAVE, terrorists

Rock Chalk WuShock

Here's a shoutout to the best college basketball team in Kansas, you know, the one that didn't loose to Bradley in the first round of the NCAA Tourney?

In case you haven't been keeping up with current events (or if you're from Lawrence), Wichita State University represented by taking out No. 2 seeded Tennessee on Friday while KU was busy wetting themselves.

Anyway, mad props to the Shockers and best of luck in the Sweet 16.

tagged: Wichita State University, WSU, Shockers, WuShocker, basketball, NCAA, March Maddness, Kansas, Tennessee

Hey, let's play the Amelie Game

It's been a while, but I've decided to bring back The Amelie Game.

Here's how it works: I list three things I like and three things I dislike from the previous week. Then, you add your own list in the comments.

So here we go with this week's likes and dislikes:

Things I like

• St. Patrick's Day (even if it's freezing)
  
• New season of The Sopranos (Can you believe Tony got shot in the very first episode of the season?!?!)
  
• YouTube (this one is great!)

Things I dislike

• mutant cyborg insects
  
• filing my tax return
  
• Blogger's crappy servers (now they'll intentionally fuck with me)

Okay, now let's see what you like/dislike this week. And remember, if you don't add your comments, you're letting the terrorists win.

tagged: Amelie, Blogger, Sopranos, YouTube, taxes, cyborg, insects St. Patrick's Day

test post

I've been getting a weird error, so this is a test post.

Man, Blogger better not be fucking with me!

tagged: test, Blogger, error

HUAR alert!

I used to think those people over at Humans United Against Robots were a bunch of crackpots. Then I read what DARPA is up to, and I'm telling you, this has Terminator 4 written all over it.

"In an announcement posted on government Web sites last week, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, or DARPA, says it is seeking "innovative proposals to develop technology to create insect cyborgs," by implanting tiny devices into insect bodies while the animals are in their pupal stage."

If this sounds familiar, it's probably because it's been the basic plot of several sci-fi horror movies. One of the creepiest, of course, is Demon Seed -- in which a super computer succeeds in raping its creator's wife in order to recreate itself in a hybrid baby.

I can see it now, DARPA develops robots to build cyborg sensory insects. Only, the robots decide to build a few "specialty" cyborg insects, and comical mayhem ensues.

If you're involved with this project, take action. A little sabotage now might just save the human race.

tagged: science, robots, cyborg, DARPA, HUAR, sci-fi, Demon Seed, movie

I thought Turkey was our ally?

From the off-beat news department comes this dispatch from James Township, Mich.

"Something just exploded," Gerald Henze told The Saginaw News.

He turned and saw a turkey walking down the hallway. Maureen Henze, who was sitting in a recliner, was injured by flying glass after the turkey crashed through the picture window of their James Township home.

I got a good chuckle out of that. But it does raise the following geopolitical question -- If Iraq attacked Turkey from behind, would Greece help?

(sounds funnier if you read it out loud)

tagged: Iraq, Turkey, Greece, humor, politics

Garmored Cars

I read the Star's article about local companies that have launched corporate blogs. The writer mentions Garmin, the Olathe-based maker of GPS gear (that's Global Positioning System, for you old folk).

The Star linked to a story from the frontlines in Afghanistan:

"On 23 September 05 one of my trucks was hit with an IED (improvised explosive device). The GPS was velcroed to the window sill in the truck. After the truck burned to the ground, we found the Garmin still hanging in there, the only piece of equipment to survive... The Garmin is melted and deformed but still works. I have been saved by my Garmin GPS on several occasions. I can always count on it. All I have to do is pull it off my vest and that's where I am. I can call for help on the radio and get medevacs, close air support, indirect fires, or straighten out myself while navigating."

So, this Garmin device is made out of something similar to the "Black Box" material. You know, the black box that is always the only working piece of gear to survive a plane crash?

So here's what I'm thinking, the gub'ment should have Garmin build all military vehicles to be IED resistant.

tagged: Afghanistan, war, IED, improvised explosive device, Garmin, GPS

Don't player hate, player appreciate

One of the great things about the Internet is that there are so many people willing to help out and provide desperately needed services to jive turkeys like me who would otherwise be lost in a labyrinth of uncoolness.

The fact that I would use the word "labyrinth" shows how desperate my situation is.

Name pimpifier www.playerappreciate.com is an example of a website that provides just such a service. Now when I go slap down my bitches in the hood, I will be know as "D. Magical L. Dazzle."

Here's what the pimpifier told me:

"One of the things most hype about being an elevated player is having a name that mothafuckas respect. It's that one thing that punks who don't have your money always remember to yell while you're beating them down. "No D. Magical L. Dazzle! Please don't beat me down D. Magical L. Dazzle! I left my money in my other pants D. Magical L. Dazzle!"

See what I mean?"

So what's your pimp name, big daddy?

tagged: pimp, name, jive, humor, pop culture

Snake Saturday

It was beautiful in North KC Saturday. An amazing 75 degrees and sunny with just the slightest breeze to keep things cool.

Although the local constabulary wouldn't allow alcohol on the streets, many of the contestants in the BBQ contest were more than generous with their liquid consumables, which was good because the Snake Saturday parade lasted about two and a half hours.

Anyway, you couldn't ask for a nicer day, and it's still officially winter. So I've decided to coin a new term for spring-like weather in winter, Springter.

tagged: Irish, Snake Saturday, Saint Patrick's Day, North Kansas City, Missouri, weather, spring, winter

asstrology

Did you hear the big news? NASA scientists have observed a gigantic plume of icy water spewed forth by Enceladus, a small moon orbiting Saturn.

This is huge, since the presence of water is viewed by astrobiologists as a key to extraterrestrial life.

In fact, not only do scientists think the presence of water on Enceladus indicates the possible presence of life, they think it lends support to the idea of life on other heavenly bodies as well.

For example, some scientists think they have seen signs of microbial life on Uranus.

(I know it was a cheap joke. But those are the best kind).
tagged: humor, Saturn, moon, Enceladus, astrology, extraterrestrial, Uranus