Worth the tip

As a huge fan of WaiterRant, I was happy to hear his radio interview with KISS FM in Boston.

WaiterRant is one of the biggest blogs out there, so if you haven't started reading it yet, chances are your friends are making fun of you behind your back.

Check out the morsels of wisdom served with a splash keen insight and a good measure of good humor.

Oh, and here's a link to the radio interview.

tagged: WaiterRant, waiter rant, radio, waiter, dining, restaurant

Slogan? Who needs it

A few months ago I blogged about New Jersey's quest for a new state slogan.

The state bought a slogan for $260,000 from a PR firm ("New Jersey: We'll Win You Over."), then had buyers remorse and decided to hold a contest to let state residents choose a new slogan: "New Jersey, Come See For Yourself."

Well, it turns out the state isn't happy with that one either.

State tourism officials said legal issues led them to scrap the latest slogan, explaining that West Virginia and other states previously used "Come See For Yourself."

Some people might see this as a boondoggle, but I see it as something the state could capitalize on. Why not incorporate this third stab at a slogan into the slogan itself.

The clever AP headline writer suggested: "New Jersey: We're Not So Good With Slogans."

Here are a few more ideas from yours truly.

• New Jersey: Third time is a charm
• New Jersey: Three strikes and your in
• New Jersey: We like to do everything in threes

If you have any suggestions, leave 'em in the comments. C'mon! New Jersey's dyin' here!

tagged: New Jersey, slogan, three, humor

MySpace invaders

I love MySpace.

Not because of the deep philosophical discussions or because of the prominent posting of not-quite porn pics or the multitude of horrible music linked generously through just about every profile page (except for mine, of course).

No, I love MySpace for the ironic entertainment value. The megawebsite is a gold mine of teenage idiots just begging to be mocked. And let's face it, most teens are in need of a good mocking.

Tony does a pretty good job of divining nuggets of nimroditude to share with the rest of us.

But I have yet to see anything as funny as The Magical Grid of Bad Emo Hair brought to you by Demonbaby.As the saying goes, it's funny because it's true.

Hat tip to Blandwagon for the link.

tagged: MySpace, culture, hair, humor, teen, blog

KGB Roundup for May 8

Happy Monday everybody, and welcome to the May 9 edition of the Kansas Guild of Bloggers roundup.

It was a great week in the Kansas blog world, and I've only managed to get a few of the deserving posts listed. Check back soon for the updated list (and drop me a line in the comments of via email at emawkc@gmail.com if you know of something that I've missed).

• LadyGunn is stoked for mission work after hearing an inspiring message.
  
  
• John B. takes a look at the Moussaoui verdict with On justice and (bitter, bitter) irony posted at Blog Meridian.
  
  
• Thomas busts balls with Mark Mangino Controversy in Lawrence posted at KSU College Football Blog.
  
  
• Joel Mathis started a great discussion with Newsgathering is newsgathering at Cup o' Joel...
  
  
• ...J.D gave a response at Evolution...
  
  
• ...As did Josh at Thoughts from Kansas ...
  
  
• ...and Joe Miller at Kansas City Soil.
  
  
• Brianne laments the passing of a family member at Breezy is off the Weezy.
  
  
• Steven is California dreamin' at A Heartbeat Away.
  
  And, this week's Honorary Kansas Blogger...
  
  
• Thanos gives a jacked-up etymology at Noblesse Oblige.

Hope you enjoyed today's tiptoe through the topics. As I said, if I missed something please let me know and I'll be happy to add to the list.

And as usual, don't forget to add yourself to the KGB Frappr Map.

Next week's Carnival will be published on Monday, April 17, same Bat-time (about) and same Bat-channel. So make sure to submit your posts through the Blog Carnival submit link.

Ciao for now...

tagged: Kansas, blog, blogger, carnival, KGB, missionary, Moussaoui, media, reporting, news

KGB call for entries

Once again it's time to make sure to get your submission in for next week's Kansas Guild of Bloggers Blog Carnival.

More and more people are submitting their posts through the Blog Carnival submit link. This is much appreciated because of the extreme nature of my laziness.

But you can also email your entry to emawkc@gmail.com. Remember, deadline is 3 p.m. Central on Sunday, April 30.

Remember, we have very strict criteria for submissions. You must be a blogger who is from Kansas, or has visited Kansas, or who knows where Kansas is on the map, or who knows that there is a place somewhere called Kansas. Politically, you must be very liberal or very conservative, or somewhere in between.

And as always, one lucky blogger will be named Honorary KGB Blogger of the Week, with all of the honors and privileges that go along with that title (i.e. none at all).

Thanks to everyone for participating. And don't forget to add yourself to the KGB Frappr Map. It's fast, easy, and it can save you a bundle on your car insurance (not really).

See you on Monday!

tagged: Kansas, blog, blogger, carnival, KGB

Cinco de Mayo, a brief history

We have all grown to love Cinco de Mayo. It's a great reason to party, right up there with New Year's Eve, Independence Day and Halloween.

But as with many aspects of post-modern American culture, we tend to lose sight of the true meaning of the traditions and observances and focus to much on the candy-colored surface.

So here, in another public service (especially for you other pale faces), I offer a brief history of the true meaning of Cinco de Mayo as presented by Universidad Vera Cruz history professor Phillipe U'Hoff.

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss.

Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

What? You expected something educational from me?

tagged: Cinco de Mayo, history, culture, humor, May 5

Best... Hack... EVER!

This hack is so awesome! I can't wait to try this along Roe Avenue, except I'm thinking of using something a bit more demented, like:

KILL THEM
KILL THEM ALL!!



Here's a quote from the criminal mastermind who perpetrated this wicked-funny hoax.

Recently a construction company left a pair of these signs in my neighborhood, blasting out their pointless messages. Being a creative tinkerer, I decided to do something about it.

And a special thanks to Andrew at Just for the Record for mining this gold.

tagged: hack, prank, hoax, humor, hacker, construction, sign, klaatu, barada, nikto

La Vita Loca

Yesterday, millions of illegal immigrants walked off of their illegal jobs and out of their illegal schools to prove that they are willing and able to work in America, improve themselves, and chase the American dream.

It was hoped that, with all of the workers leaving their lawn mowing, roofing and house cleaning jobs, the economy would grind to a screeching halt. Unfortunately, according to the AP, the only major businesses harmed were Mexican food restaurants.

The rallies shut down 29 branches of Chipotle Mexican Grill, a Denver-based fast-casual dining chain. Goya Foods, which bills itself as the nation's largest Hispanic-owned food chain, suspended delivery everywhere except Florida in what the company called a gesture of solidarity.

As you may have guessed, I'm not a supporter of illegal immigrants ditching school and their jobs. I think it sends the wrong message. It doesn't really say they want to be American citizens, it says they want to be illegal immigrants with benefits.

Of course, I can't really put all the blame for these demonstrations on the illegal immigrants themselves. They are being led by people of questionable motive.

And, the proposal itself was stupid. The reaction among illegal immigrant groups was predictable, and I suspect that the authors of the proposed legislation hoped it would cause a nice little media diversion. When was the last time campaign finance corruption made front page news?

But now we are in a position where neither side can back down. Obviously, you can't just make 11 million people felons with the stroke of a pen. We just don't have the resources to round up and incarcerate/deport 11 million people. And even if we did, these workers are integral to our economy. I don't think we really want to face the economic consequences of removing 11 million or so workers.

On the other hand, we don't have the resources to absorb the 11 million illegal immigrants as American citizens. Our strained social welfare programs, such as they are, just couldn't handle the added demand.

Some people view this as a racial, anti-Hispanic issue. That's ridiculous.

Calling me racist against Latinos because I don't approve of illegal immigration is like calling me racist against Italians because I don't condone organized crime.

It's simply a matter of integration. One need only look at the recent riots in France and its 20 percent unemployment among some groups to get a taste of the affects of mass immigration without a system for integration.

The illegal immigration question comes down to this proposition: We can't deport 11 million people because our economy is dependent on these workers, and we can't grant citizenship to everyone because we simply don't have the resources.

The unpopular answer, unfortunately, is to look the other way and move forward with the status quo.

But that doesn't score any political points for anyone and it's not much fun to blog about.

tagged: illegal immigration, reform, Hispanic, Latino, policy, culture, France, race, politics

YouTube Tuesday: Titanic the Sequel

Since I had "Titanic" in the headline of last week's YouTube feature, I did a search on YouTube to see what else would come up.

I wasn't disappointed.

Whoever did this video did a great job editing titles, dialog and clips from various movies. It almost had me convinced that there would be a sequel to Titanic. It's mashup culture at its finest.



tagged: YouTube, Tuesday, Titanic, sequel, Leonardo DiCaprio, movie, trailer, mashup, culture

Why must you be meme to me

I don't think I've ever done one of these before, so this is a first for me. I picked this one up from Joel, who got it from JD, who got it from Mike, who got it from... well you get the idea. It's like and STD.

Emawkc A-Z

Accent: None. Only foreigners have accents. You know, people from North Dakota.

Booze: Boulevard Wheat, '97 Brunello, Manhattan served up with two cherries.

Chore I hate: Well "hate" is a pretty strong word, but I could do without cleaning the gutters.

Dog or cat: Dog definitely. Jack Russell Terrier to be exact.

Essential electronics: iPod and electric nose hair clippers.

Favorite Cologne: The Beach, by Kramer.

Gold or Silver: Black gold, oil that is. Texas tea.

Hometown: Born Wakeeney. Graduated high school in Marion (not Merriam, or Marysville or St. Marys)

Insomnia: Not one of Al Pacino's better efforts, although it was nice to see Robin Williams make a break from the zany characters we were used to seeing him play...

Job Title: Assistant urinal cake changer.

Kids: One (that I know of).

Living arrangements: A cage in the basement.

Most admirable traits: 12-inch penis and self-deprecating sense of humor

Not going to cop to: Lying about my penis size.

Overnight hospital stays: none (yet).

Phobias: Carney folk. You know, small hands, smell like cabbage.

Quote: "The problem with socialism is that people like to own stuff" -- Frank Zappa

Religion: Snake Dancer.

Siblings: Two sisters, one bro, millions of kindred spirits.

Time I wake up: After my first cup of Senseo

Unusual talent or skill: I won more than seven all-you-can-eat chicken wings eating contests

Vegetable I love: Filet Mignon.

Worst habit: Entering all-you-can-eat chicken wings eating contests.

X-rays: I had my head x-rayed. They didn't find anything.

Yummy foods I make: I can smoke a mean Boston Butt.

Zodiac sign: Libra, for what it's worth.

tagged: meme, internet, blog, Kansas