Three's a crowd

Last night I was looking for some quick news updates on a certain topic (that I won't go into here) so I flipped over to CNN.

I didn't find what I was looking for, but I did see that goober-with-two-last-names Anderson Cooper. He was doing a show about polygamy. Turns out polygamy is a pretty big deal in Utah (who knew?) and Canada -- even though it is technically illegal. In fact, according to AC, polygamist "prophet" Warren Jeffs is on the FBI's top 10 most wanted list.

I find this all interesting since my (only) Supermodel Wife and I have been watching Big Love, a series about a family of polygamists, on HBO.

I have to ask after watching that show, why the heck would anyone want more than one wife?

But upon further reflection, I could see how having multiple wives would be a good way to break up the monogamy.

tagged: Anderson Cooper, mariage, Big Love, HBO, politics, humor, polygamy, monogamy, Canada, Utah

Welcome to the nanny state

The passage of the recent Kansas state law enacting a minimum age for marriage has been a blogger gold mine.

Its generally regarded that Kansas was long overdue for such a law, that only a backward hillbilly civilization wouldn't have a minimum marriage age.

Which leads me to think that I might be the only one who believes this kind of law is just a bit on the ridiculous side. I mean, is this something that is such a huge problem that it requires a state law? Really, is there an epidemic of 12-year-olds tying the knot?

When lawmakers should be focusing on important issues such as education funding and naming the official state reptile, aren't they trying to fix a problem that doesn't really exist?

Don't most people know better? Do we really need to legislate common sense? Does it require an act of congress to get people to use their freakin' brains? And where are the parent's of all of these marrying minors?

So now that we are a step closer to a full-fledged nanny state, here are a few other laws that we desperately need:

• All persons above three (3) years of age must wipe their asses after every #2. Subsection (a) All males must lift lid of toilet before urination.
  
  
• Residents of the state of Kansas shall not jump off a bridge merely because their friends also jump off bridges.
  
  
• All state residents are prohibited from employing the use of cheese graters to shave off their nipples.
  
  
• The legal blood-alcohol limit for wrestling with alligators shall be no lower than 5.08 percent.
  
  
• Within the legal boundary of the State of Kansas, all people must use the magic words "please" and "thank you" when requesting and receiving objects and/or service or they will have to go to bed early without desert after supper.

tagged: Kansas, mariage, law, politics, humor

Wrong way

I was on a message board the other day, discussing the possibilities of a mid-term Democratic landslide in the upcoming elections.

The question was posed:

"How the hell did Kerry lose? How could ANYONE have lost against Bush?"

My answer was thus:

"The Dems lost last time because they ran on an "Anyone but Bush" platform. They have a golden opportunity with the upcoming elections. What I worry about is that they will again focus on personality and blame instead of proposing solutions.

Wrong message: "Those guys screwed up the country, vote for me."

Right message: "Let's reign in spending and do (fill in the blank) in Iraq. Vote for me."

I bring this up, because it looks like at least a segment of the liberal voters are already losing focus.

Many bloggers today are referring to a column penned (keyboarded?) by the Washington Post's Richard Cohen detailing the "digital lynch mob" that attacked him because he found no humor in Stephen Colbert's recent performance at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

This is bad news for the Democrats. They shouldn't be attacking each other based on pop culture criticism. They shouldn't really be attacking anybody.

They should be formulating a decent and workable proposal to put before the electorate.

The majority in congress is theirs for the taking, unless they snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

tagged: politics, Richard Cohen, elections, Washington Post, Democrats, culture

Nerd humor

Received this morning from my Supermodel Wife:

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies: "Yes, I'm positive."

tagged: science, nerd, humor, pun, electron

YouTube Tuesday: Double feature doggy style

You know those goofy videos that get passed around through email and links? Well that's what YouTube was invented for.

So today, I'm posting not one but two videos that have recently invaded my inbox.

You dog lovers should dig this: Two videos of dogs doing crazy shit for our entertainment.

This first video actually is really amazing. This dude taught his dog to ride a skateboard... a FREAKIN' SKATEBOARD!



And, if you need more canine capers, watch this video mashup.



Update: Sorry to disappoint all you who were looking for porn... cheeky monkeys.

tagged: YouTube, Tuesday, dogs, pets, skateboard, movie, video, mashup, humor

Worth the tip

As a huge fan of WaiterRant, I was happy to hear his radio interview with KISS FM in Boston.

WaiterRant is one of the biggest blogs out there, so if you haven't started reading it yet, chances are your friends are making fun of you behind your back.

Check out the morsels of wisdom served with a splash keen insight and a good measure of good humor.

Oh, and here's a link to the radio interview.

tagged: WaiterRant, waiter rant, radio, waiter, dining, restaurant

Slogan? Who needs it

A few months ago I blogged about New Jersey's quest for a new state slogan.

The state bought a slogan for $260,000 from a PR firm ("New Jersey: We'll Win You Over."), then had buyers remorse and decided to hold a contest to let state residents choose a new slogan: "New Jersey, Come See For Yourself."

Well, it turns out the state isn't happy with that one either.

State tourism officials said legal issues led them to scrap the latest slogan, explaining that West Virginia and other states previously used "Come See For Yourself."

Some people might see this as a boondoggle, but I see it as something the state could capitalize on. Why not incorporate this third stab at a slogan into the slogan itself.

The clever AP headline writer suggested: "New Jersey: We're Not So Good With Slogans."

Here are a few more ideas from yours truly.

• New Jersey: Third time is a charm
• New Jersey: Three strikes and your in
• New Jersey: We like to do everything in threes

If you have any suggestions, leave 'em in the comments. C'mon! New Jersey's dyin' here!

tagged: New Jersey, slogan, three, humor

MySpace invaders

I love MySpace.

Not because of the deep philosophical discussions or because of the prominent posting of not-quite porn pics or the multitude of horrible music linked generously through just about every profile page (except for mine, of course).

No, I love MySpace for the ironic entertainment value. The megawebsite is a gold mine of teenage idiots just begging to be mocked. And let's face it, most teens are in need of a good mocking.

Tony does a pretty good job of divining nuggets of nimroditude to share with the rest of us.

But I have yet to see anything as funny as The Magical Grid of Bad Emo Hair brought to you by Demonbaby.As the saying goes, it's funny because it's true.

Hat tip to Blandwagon for the link.

tagged: MySpace, culture, hair, humor, teen, blog

KGB Roundup for May 8

Happy Monday everybody, and welcome to the May 9 edition of the Kansas Guild of Bloggers roundup.

It was a great week in the Kansas blog world, and I've only managed to get a few of the deserving posts listed. Check back soon for the updated list (and drop me a line in the comments of via email at emawkc@gmail.com if you know of something that I've missed).

• LadyGunn is stoked for mission work after hearing an inspiring message.
  
  
• John B. takes a look at the Moussaoui verdict with On justice and (bitter, bitter) irony posted at Blog Meridian.
  
  
• Thomas busts balls with Mark Mangino Controversy in Lawrence posted at KSU College Football Blog.
  
  
• Joel Mathis started a great discussion with Newsgathering is newsgathering at Cup o' Joel...
  
  
• ...J.D gave a response at Evolution...
  
  
• ...As did Josh at Thoughts from Kansas ...
  
  
• ...and Joe Miller at Kansas City Soil.
  
  
• Brianne laments the passing of a family member at Breezy is off the Weezy.
  
  
• Steven is California dreamin' at A Heartbeat Away.
  
  And, this week's Honorary Kansas Blogger...
  
  
• Thanos gives a jacked-up etymology at Noblesse Oblige.

Hope you enjoyed today's tiptoe through the topics. As I said, if I missed something please let me know and I'll be happy to add to the list.

And as usual, don't forget to add yourself to the KGB Frappr Map.

Next week's Carnival will be published on Monday, April 17, same Bat-time (about) and same Bat-channel. So make sure to submit your posts through the Blog Carnival submit link.

Ciao for now...

tagged: Kansas, blog, blogger, carnival, KGB, missionary, Moussaoui, media, reporting, news

KGB call for entries

Once again it's time to make sure to get your submission in for next week's Kansas Guild of Bloggers Blog Carnival.

More and more people are submitting their posts through the Blog Carnival submit link. This is much appreciated because of the extreme nature of my laziness.

But you can also email your entry to emawkc@gmail.com. Remember, deadline is 3 p.m. Central on Sunday, April 30.

Remember, we have very strict criteria for submissions. You must be a blogger who is from Kansas, or has visited Kansas, or who knows where Kansas is on the map, or who knows that there is a place somewhere called Kansas. Politically, you must be very liberal or very conservative, or somewhere in between.

And as always, one lucky blogger will be named Honorary KGB Blogger of the Week, with all of the honors and privileges that go along with that title (i.e. none at all).

Thanks to everyone for participating. And don't forget to add yourself to the KGB Frappr Map. It's fast, easy, and it can save you a bundle on your car insurance (not really).

See you on Monday!

tagged: Kansas, blog, blogger, carnival, KGB